JANUARY 27TH; Winter Cleaning [C&C]
Jan. 30th, 2009 01:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
chewtoyoffateRaw copypasta from a really random roleplay session in AIM. After Starscream landed uncerimoniously on Waspinator's floor, this kind of... Mutated into existance.
[11:12] by the way
[11:12] starscream landed face first on waspinator's floor
[11:12] this is not a nice floor
[11:12] I'm sure it isn't and I'm sure he's going to regret this later
[11:13] I actaully thought about that in class today
[11:13] yeah
[11:13] "man Waspy's floor is probably diseased"
[11:13] it's um
[11:13] linty and dusty and there are half eaten plates of food on it
[11:13] also shiny things
[11:13] /everywhere/
[11:13] Starscream: *causes plates, shiny things, and dust bunnies to fly out of the way as he skids to a halt*
[11:14] ffffff NO BRAIN. NO. THAT IS NOT IN CHARACTER YOU MAY NOT DO IT.
[11:14] *stabs brain*
[11:14] (not the skidding to a halt. something else)
[11:17] ......
[11:18] tumbling?
[11:18] :>
[11:18] No just
[11:18] Starscream: Your floor is disgusting. *shoves mop and broom into Wasp's hands*
[11:18] Starscream: Fix it.
[11:18] W: *stares* What iz thiz?
[11:18] Starscream: *and starts coughing becuase he totally caught some disease from that floor*
[11:19] Starscream: ... *facepalm*
[11:19] W: Wazpinator not understand human toolz.
[11:19] Starscream: That's a broom. you use it to sweep up dust.
[11:19] W: Why?
[11:19] Starscream: Like this. *sweeeeps*
[11:19] W: Dust iz fine where it iz.
[11:19] Starscream: Because dust is dirty and filthy and it clogs things up and apparently makes humans sick if there's enough of it
[11:20] Starscream: and as for 'bots it clogs your intake valves. If you're a proper bot and not some kind of organic... thing.
[11:20] (TRUK NOT MUNKY?!)
[11:20] (*shot*)
[11:20] (SORRY, G1, MY OPTIMUS WILL ALWAYS BE A MUNKY)
[11:20] (baww)
[11:21] Starscream: ANYWAY. This is a mop.
[11:21] W: Mop iz wet. Wazpinator not like. D:
[11:21] Starscream: Once you've swept up the dust, you get the mop wet and then clean the floor. But only on tile floors. Not on carpet.
[11:21] Starscream: What. why.
[11:22] W: ... Becauze it iz wet.
[11:22] W: Wazpinator say thiz.
[11:22] Starscream: Yes, you did say that, but why do you have a prolem with wet things?! It's just WATER. [flicks water at him]
[11:22] *problem. I can spell
[11:22] W: MAZAAAH. *cowers*
[11:23] Starscream: ... ... [wait you're trying to tell this 'con how to clean things, now is not the time to be a dick now is not the time okay, good, makes his will save vs being a jerk]
[11:23] S: ANYWAY.
[11:24] S: For CARPET you use a vaccum cleaner. [and tadaa he has a vaccum too]
[11:24] W: *leans down and pokes it*
[11:24] W: What doez cleaner do?
[11:24] S: [turns it onnn] [and it goes VRRRRRRRRRRRRR]
[11:24] W: *SCREAMS*
[11:25] W: *stumbles back*
[11:25] S: [covers ears]
[11:25] Vaccum: vrrrrrr
[11:25] W: CLEANERBOT IZ MALFUCNTIONING
[11:27] S: no, it's working just fine. [sigh] It works by creating a difference in air pressure, whereb- [stops] Nevermind. It sucks up dirt.
[11:27] S: And then it makes things CLEAN so that you don't have FLEAS or whatever else is living in here.
[11:27] W: Why iz cleanerbot so /noizy/?
[11:28] S: Becuase it's a windbag. [he is from the 80's. puns are obligitory.]
[11:28] W: Liek Screamerbot?
[11:29] S: No, nothing at all like me! I'm not a windbag at all! [turns it off sheesh]
[11:29] W: *incredulous stare*
[11:30] W: Okay, why iz Traitybot showing Wazpinator theze thingz?
[11:31] S: Becuase you should clean your apartment, that's why! [starts walking around and kicking at things like the pile of dishes by the TV] It's disgusting in here! Human bodies can only take so much filth before they start to malfunction, and besides which cleanliness is an important part of military discipline.
[11:31] [not that you can talk, Starscream; your apartment while not THIS bad is still pretty messy]
[11:32] [but more in the "absent minded evil genius" kind of way]
[11:32] W: *squeaks and runs to save the shiny things from the threat of Starscream's ramage* Leave Wazpinator'z thingz alone! Wazpinator'z thingz not have anything to do with discipline!
[11:35] S: You should still clean u- oo hey what's this [found a shiney something]
[11:35] W: *snatches it from his hands* THAT BELONGZ TO WAZPINATOR.
[11:35] S: HEY I was looking at that!
[11:36] W: *pauses, staring at him with narrow eyes* Fine. Traitybot can look. But no taking.
[11:36] S: Fine, fine. [it's a.... thingy idk. maybe it lights up]
[11:37] *it's a string of christmas lights? if it lights up waspinator took it home*
[11:38] S: [oh man cool, but] Interesting. Somewhat inefficient design, LEDs are better, if more expensive. And... ugh, htis isn't a parallel circut? What?
[11:38] S: So if one light goes out they ALL do? Fft.
[11:39] W: *stares* Mmzz. *takes it back* Iz shiny.
[11:39] S: [oh fine. but he is so getting his own christmas lights later]
[11:41] W: Wazpinator not share shiniez. Traitybot can find hiz own.
[11:41] S: LED lights are better anyway, these are incandescant.
[11:41] S: So I will get BETTER lights than you.
[11:41] W; *glares*
[11:41] W: Wazpinator not care.
[11:42] S: Fine. But you should still clean your apartment.
[11:42] S: Or else I'll clean it for you. And you won't like that.
[11:42] S: ... and don't you EVER wash dishes?
[11:43] W: Why would Wazpinator wash dishez?
[11:43] S: Because if you don't they get moldy and you can cause a malfunction.
[11:43] W: Dishez with soap not make food tazte good.
[11:43] S: Soap and WATER
[11:43] W: *blank stare*
[11:43] S: You rinse them with WATER. or put them in the DISHWASHER.
[11:44] W: So... Wazpinator put soap and then water ondishez?
[11:45] S: Yes. And scrub them with a sponge and... you know what, fine. [oh ghsdfj why, why is he doing this? why does he care? he's gone from planning autobot raids to teaching how to do the damn dishes]
[11:45] S: [ok. but anything's better than being a disembodied spark. anything's better than being a disembodied spark. REALLY. okay] [and dragging wasp into the kitchen to demonstrate... how to do dishes]
[11:45] *does he really have anything better to do?*
[11:45] *no. no, he really doesn't*
[11:46] W: *buzzes* Where is Traitybot going?
[11:46] S: I am showing you how to wash dishes. [how bad is the kitchenette]
[11:46] *it's pretty bad. if there is a surface that's not covered in junk it's drizzled in honey*
[11:47] S: ... and then I'm going to show you how to clean countertops. [sigh]
[11:47] S: [okayy, to the sink] See you put soap on the sponge [he brought some. hell, there is a bukkit of cleaning supplies] and then you turn on the water, and scrub the plates, like this.
[11:48] W: *distractedly runs a finger along a counter and licks the honey off it*
[11:48] W: Why uze soap?
[11:50] S: First of all, the soap bond the food molecules to the... ... [stops] the soap makes it easier to clean.
[11:50] W: *nods sagely*
[11:50] W: Soap iz magic?
[11:50] S: Second, it's an antimicrobal agent... er.
[11:50] S: Yes. Yes, it's magic.
[11:50] S: [just wryyyyyyyyyyyyyy]
[11:51] W: *looks pleased with himself for figuring it out*
[11:55] W: *pauses, thinks about it* Traitybot wantz food? *holdz up plate with old chinese on it*
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[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<zer0 [...] die.>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]
Raw copypasta from a really random roleplay session in AIM. After Starscream landed uncerimoniously on Waspinator's floor, this kind of... Mutated into existance.
<lj-cut text="But you should still clean your apartment. Or else I'll clean it for you. And you won't like that.">
[11:12] <ZER0> by the way
[11:12] <ZER0> starscream landed face first on waspinator's floor
[11:12] <ZER0> this is not a nice floor
[11:12] <Book of Mirage> I'm sure it isn't and I'm sure he's going to regret this later
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> I actaully thought about that in class today
[11:13] <ZER0> yeah
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> "man Waspy's floor is probably diseased"
[11:13] <ZER0> it's um
[11:13] <ZER0> linty and dusty and there are half eaten plates of food on it
[11:13] <ZER0> also shiny things
[11:13] <ZER0> /everywhere/
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: *causes plates, shiny things, and dust bunnies to fly out of the way as he skids to a halt*
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> ffffff NO BRAIN. NO. THAT IS NOT IN CHARACTER YOU MAY NOT DO IT.
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> *stabs brain*
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> (not the skidding to a halt. something else)
[11:17] <ZER0> ......
[11:18] <ZER0> tumbling?
[11:18] <ZER0> :>
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> No just
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Your floor is disgusting. *shoves mop and broom into Wasp's hands*
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Fix it.
[11:18] <ZER0> W: *stares* What iz thiz?
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: *and starts coughing becuase he totally caught some disease from that floor*
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ... *facepalm*
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not understand human toolz.
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: That's a broom. you use it to sweep up dust.
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Why?
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Like this. *sweeeeps*
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Dust iz fine where it iz.
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Because dust is dirty and filthy and it clogs things up and apparently makes humans sick if there's enough of it
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: and as for 'bots it clogs your intake valves. If you're a proper bot and not some kind of organic... thing.
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (TRUK NOT MUNKY?!)
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (*shot*)
[11:20] <ZER0> (SORRY, G1, MY OPTIMUS WILL ALWAYS BE A MUNKY)
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (baww)
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ANYWAY. This is a mop.
[11:21] <ZER0> W: Mop iz wet. Wazpinator not like. D:
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Once you've swept up the dust, you get the mop wet and then clean the floor. But only on tile floors. Not on carpet.
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: What. why.
[11:22] <ZER0> W: ... Becauze it iz wet.
[11:22] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator say thiz.
[11:22] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Yes, you did say that, but why do you have a prolem with wet things?! It's just WATER. [flicks water at him]
[11:22] <Book of Mirage> *problem. I can spell
[11:22] <ZER0> W: MAZAAAH. *cowers*
[11:23] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ... ... [wait you're trying to tell this 'con how to clean things, now is not the time to be a dick now is not the time okay, good, makes his will save vs being a jerk]
[11:23] <Book of Mirage> S: ANYWAY.
[11:24] <Book of Mirage> S: For CARPET you use a vaccum cleaner. [and tadaa he has a vaccum too]
[11:24] <ZER0> W: *leans down and pokes it*
[11:24] <ZER0> W: What doez cleaner do?
[11:24] <Book of Mirage> S: [turns it onnn] [and it goes VRRRRRRRRRRRRR]
[11:24] <ZER0> W: *SCREAMS*
[11:25] <ZER0> W: *stumbles back*
[11:25] <Book of Mirage> S: [covers ears]
[11:25] <Book of Mirage> Vaccum: vrrrrrr
[11:25] <ZER0> W: CLEANERBOT IZ MALFUCNTIONING
[11:27] <Book of Mirage> S: no, it's working just fine. [sigh] It works by creating a difference in air pressure, whereb- [stops] Nevermind. It sucks up dirt.
[11:27] <Book of Mirage> S: And then it makes things CLEAN so that you don't have FLEAS or whatever else is living in here.
[11:27] <ZER0> W: Why iz cleanerbot so /noizy/?
[11:28] <Book of Mirage> S: Becuase it's a windbag. [he is from the 80's. puns are obligitory.]
[11:28] <ZER0> W: Liek Screamerbot?
[11:29] <Book of Mirage> S: No, nothing at all like me! I'm not a windbag at all! [turns it off sheesh]
[11:29] <ZER0> W: *incredulous stare*
[11:30] <ZER0> W: Okay, why iz Traitybot showing Wazpinator theze thingz?
[11:31] <Book of Mirage> S: Becuase you should clean your apartment, that's why! [starts walking around and kicking at things like the pile of dishes by the TV] It's disgusting in here! Human bodies can only take so much filth before they start to malfunction, and besides which cleanliness is an important part of military discipline.
[11:31] <Book of Mirage> [not that you can talk, Starscream; your apartment while not THIS bad is still pretty messy]
[11:32] <Book of Mirage> [but more in the "absent minded evil genius" kind of way]
[11:32] <ZER0 > W: *squeaks and runs to save the shiny things from the threat of Starscream's ramage* Leave Wazpinator'z thingz alone! Wazpinator'z thingz not have anything to do with discipline!
[11:35] <Book of Mirage> S: You should still clean u- oo hey what's this [found a shiney something]
[11:35] <ZER0> W: *snatches it from his hands* THAT BELONGZ TO WAZPINATOR.
[11:35] <Book of Mirage> S: HEY I was looking at that!
[11:36] <ZER0> W: *pauses, staring at him with narrow eyes* Fine. Traitybot can look. But no taking.
[11:36] <Book of Mirage> S: Fine, fine. [it's a.... thingy idk. maybe it lights up]
[11:37] <ZER0> *it's a string of christmas lights? if it lights up waspinator took it home*
[11:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh man cool, but] Interesting. Somewhat inefficient design, LEDs are better, if more expensive. And... ugh, htis isn't a parallel circut? What?
[11:38] <Book of Mirage> S: So if one light goes out they ALL do? Fft.
[11:39] <ZER0> W: *stares* Mmzz. *takes it back* Iz shiny.
[11:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh fine. but he is so getting his own christmas lights later]
[11:41] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not share shiniez. Traitybot can find hiz own.
[11:41] <Book of Mirage> S: LED lights are better anyway, these are incandescant.
[11:41] <Book of Mirage> S: So I will get BETTER lights than you.
[11:41] <ZER0> W; *glares*
[11:41] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not care.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: Fine. But you should still clean your apartment.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: Or else I'll clean it for you. And you won't like that.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and don't you EVER wash dishes?
[11:43] <ZER0> W: Why would Wazpinator wash dishez?
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: Because if you don't they get moldy and you can cause a malfunction.
[11:43] <ZER0> W: Dishez with soap not make food tazte good.
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: Soap and WATER
[11:43] <ZER0> W: *blank stare*
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: You rinse them with WATER. or put them in the DISHWASHER.
[11:44] <ZER0> W: So... Wazpinator put soap and then water ondishez?
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes. And scrub them with a sponge and... you know what, fine. [oh ghsdfj why, why is he doing this? why does he care? he's gone from planning autobot raids to teaching how to do the damn dishes]
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> S: [ok. but anything's better than being a disembodied spark. anything's better than being a disembodied spark. REALLY. okay] [and dragging wasp into the kitchen to demonstrate... how to do dishes]
[11:45] <ZER0> *does he really have anything better to do?*
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> *no. no, he really doesn't*
[11:46] <ZER0> W: *buzzes* Where is Traitybot going?
[11:46] <Book of Mirage> S: I am showing you how to wash dishes. [how bad is the kitchenette]
[11:46] <ZER0> *it's pretty bad. if there is a surface that's not covered in junk it's drizzled in honey*
[11:47] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and then I'm going to show you how to clean countertops. [sigh]
[11:47] <Book of Mirage> S: [okayy, to the sink] See you put soap on the sponge [he brought some. hell, there is a bukkit of cleaning supplies] and then you turn on the water, and scrub the plates, like this.
[11:48] <ZER0> W: *distractedly runs a finger along a counter and licks the honey off it*
[11:48] <ZER0> W: Why uze soap?
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: First of all, the soap bond the food molecules to the... ... [stops] the soap makes it easier to clean.
[11:50] <ZER0> W: *nods sagely*
[11:50] <ZER0> W: Soap iz magic?
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: Second, it's an antimicrobal agent... er.
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes. Yes, it's magic.
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: [just wryyyyyyyyyyyyyy]
[11:51] <ZER0> W: *looks pleased with himself for figuring it out*
[11:55] <ZER0> W: *pauses, thinks about it* Traitybot wantz food? *holdz up plate with old chinese on it*
[11:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [OH WOW I SAID HOLDZ OUT OF CHARACTER. THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN]
[11:55] <Book of Mirage> [oh god]
[11:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *slowly eats a piece of general tao*
[11:56] <Book of Mirage> S: ... ... [he is really hungry but uh... no.]
[11:56] <Book of Mirage> S: No.
[11:56] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *shrugs* Mmzkay. Screamybot suits self. *eats some noodles with his hands*
12:00 : Friday, January 30, 2009
[12:00] <Book of Mirage> S: [warshes... moar dishes] [sighs fff this is reminding him of the old days when he'd do shit like lab work]
[12:00] <Book of Mirage> S: [not even field work. lab work. ]
[12:03] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *keeps looking at him* *looks around* Wazpinator will. Go over here now. *wanders into living room. considers leaving and going into starscream's apartment and see what's in there, since his is apartment is, ah, occupied*
[12:03] <Book of Mirage> [fff lol go ahead]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [Starscream's apartment is only marginally more organized and less dusty than Waspy's. screamer at least vaccums from time to time, but there's papers and books everywhere, and most of the books look like they were picked up from goodwill or taken from the library and just not returned; there's also a lot of random electronics in various states of being taken apart and put back together]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [and several reams of plans in Starscream's hand about how to kill Megatron]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [on like, napkins and stuff]
[12:06] <Book of Mirage> [they get progressively more half-hearted until there's things like "just stab him damn it or something idk"]
[12:06] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [ASKDJHAKSDF SCREAMER WHY SO ADORABLE HOPELESS]
[12:06] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [wait is screamer on the same floor as him]
[12:09] <Book of Mirage> [I think he's a floor up but ff I don't care whatever]
[12:11] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *hovers down the hall to the staircase, and flies headfirst down the staircase. he's special like that. he tries to get into screamer's apartment, which is locked, of course. he flies back to his apartment and hangs in the air behind screamer, humming. without asking, he tries to take off screamer's dog tags*
[12:13] <Book of Mirage> S: What are you doing.
[12:13] <Book of Mirage> S: [and oh god he wasn't going to do all these dishes. how did this happen. graaah]
[12:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Wazpinator wantz to clean Traitybot'z houze. Not like owing Traitybot favour.
[12:18] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *tugs at the tags like a five year old*
[12:18] <Book of Mirage> S: You don't even know how to clean your own house, let alone mine!
[12:18] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *sad puppy face*
[12:18] <Book of Mirage> [[Also: Clarification of current tag: Starscream will be following Waspy shortly, but the reaction posted seemed like what he'd do at the time?]]
[12:19] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [yup~ lmoa]
[12:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [not amused by the sad puppy face]
[12:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [... not falling prey to sad puppy face. is decepticon air commander. doesn't give a damn about puppy faces oh STOP THAT WASPINATOR]
[12:20] <Book of Mirage> [/fails a will save]
[12:20] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *GIANT SHINY EYES OF PLEADING*
[12:21] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *tugs more* Wazpinator not ruin everything like uzual. Wazpinator organizzzzzze. Like good Predacon.
[12:21] <Book of Mirage> S: ... oh FINE.
[12:22] <Book of Mirage> S: Don't lose these. [gives]
[12:23] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *HAPPYBUZZ* *flies off back to Screamer's place, lets himself in*
[12:23] <Book of Mirage> [There are also little model planes, I forgot to mention that]
[12:23] <Book of Mirage> [really, really nice ones, actually, god knows how he got them with no job]
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [THEFT!]
[12:24] <Book of Mirage> [waspy that is not a good idea]
[12:24] <Book of Mirage> [remember this is commander starscream's apt. he has a bad temper
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *looks around, wondering where to start. has no idea what to do or where*
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [no i mean he got them through theft XD]
[12:26] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *starts rifling through papers on the desk. pulls his legs up and sort of, sits in the air, going through all of them. he starts to sort them into 'plans' 'not plans' and 'kill megatron'. 'kill megatron' is three times the size of the other two, and doesn't bat an eyelash*
[12:27] <Book of Mirage> [XD]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [Grocery list: Tuna fish, soup, ramen noodles, paprika, kill megatron
[12:28] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [YOU CAN'T HAVE KILL MEGATRON WITHOUT PAPRIKA]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [oh]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [yes, yes he did]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [EXTRA SPICEY DEATH
[12:33] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *glances upwards and becomes distracted by the model airplanes. buzzes and drops the papers, going upwards to bat it around like some kind of. catbee.*
[12:33] <Book of Mirage> S: [is loading plates into the dishwasher also since there seems to be one hoooray]
[12:33] <Book of Mirage> S: [and finally fucking finishes that]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [and wonders how the hell he got into cleaning the quarters of people he outranks, he didn't join up with the 'cons for this foolishness, but then agian he's also dead twice and currently squishy and what else is he going to do]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [and for that matter making waspy happy is probably a good plan]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [he should have at least one person who doesn't completely loathe his existence right]
[12:37] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *daaaaaaw no sorry everyone hates you 8D wasp barrel rolls happily, then realizes that he's probably supposed to be working. drifts off to the kitchen, because uh that's what starscream did and uh well it's as good a start as any?*
[12:38] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *opens the fridge and stares at the contents. can there be a lot of mustard for no reason?*
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [yes, there's a lot of mustard. and paprika]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [and mayonaise]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [but no ketchup]
[12:38] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [JUST IN CASE HE KILLS MEGATRON AND NEEDS SOME PAPRIKA]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [he doesn't like ketchup]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [INDEED]
[12:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [there's also very little actual food in there. there's like, a thing of milk that's mostly empty
[12:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [and orange juice and some empty containers that probably had food once]
[12:41] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *takes out pots of mustard, staring at them dumbly. curiosity overriding common sense, he opens the lid of one and sets it on the counter, then takes out the orange juice and pours some into that. he continues to just dump things into one particular mustard jar, humming contentedly.*
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> [XD]
[12:43] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [HE'S MAKING YOU SOUP, SCREAMER!]
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> S: [in the meantime has cleaned the counters. IF HE IS GOING TO CLEAN HE IS GIONG TO DO IT RIGHT DAMN IT]
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> [oh god delicious soup x_x;]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [there is one food he has that is actaully good]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [he has one]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [single]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [jar of nutella]
[12:52] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *stops mixing suddenly, flits back to clean the living room. ACTUALLY MANAGES TO HOLY CRAP. or at least tidy up the papers. and not break anything. pleased with himself, he returns to the kitchen to see what'll happen to OH MY GOD NUTELLA THIS WILL NOT END WELL.*
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> S: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [/evil laugh]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [becuase he's finished cleaning the countertops]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [suddenly wonders if Waspy ever showers]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [decides not to think about this too hard]
[12:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *is not going through the cupboards, tasting everything he finds. he pauses when he hears an evil laugh, then continues. he drops a few jars as he's going through these, if they're made of glass they break on the floor. he manages not to notice.*
[12:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *HE SHOULD ASK. THE ANSWER IS FANTASTIC.*
[12:57] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *discovers the jar of nutella, dips a finger in it to taste. doing so, his eyes go wide and he buzzes. this is almost as good as honey!~ o/ he starts to eat it with his hands*
[12:57] <Book of Mirage> [most are plastic]
[12:57] <Book of Mirage> [also a lot of the food boxes are empty. as are most of the jars]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [actually it looks like starscream eats a lot]
[12:58] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [then his floor isn't disgusting yet, jsut covered in boxes :U]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [because he has a metabolism like a rabbit on crack]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [He is out of cheez-its. again.]
[12:59] <Book of Mirage> [And it is a good thing waspy can't get into the player's house. becuase she likes to collect exotic honey DON'T JUDGE ME]
[12:59] <Book of Mirage> [ahem]
[12:59] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [NO NO i went to france and my only real souvenir was delicious provence honey. it was delicious.]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [fffff provence honeeyyyy mmmm
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [And yeahhh he's just taken all the shiney things and managed to organize them]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [And he's actually put up the christmas lights.]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [oh god there's a model plane in this mess. no. do not take.]
[1:00] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 8DDDDD*
[1:01] <Book of Mirage> [it's just a conchord anyway]
[1:03] <Book of Mirage> [okay now things are organized now vaccuummmssss ]
[1:03] <Book of Mirage> S: I HAVE CONQUERED YOU, DUST! AHAHAHA! [point] [ok his vaccuming job is kind of half-hearted. he does get most of the floor though]
[1:04] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *..... yeah that nutella was doomed from the start. he's trying to lick the inside of the jar at this point.*
[1:04] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *when there's nothing left he drops it on the floor with the others and wanders into starscream's bedroom*
[1:05] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *this is actually pretty clean, there's not much for him to do. he settles for jumping on the bed*
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [there are a few popular mechanics magazines lying around
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [and a really cool book about fighter aircraft with big pictures]
[1:05] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [POPULAR MECHANICS OR PORN? 8\]
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [INDEED.]
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> [and on his nightstand is a Macross Valkryie.]
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> S: [ok he's tired of this cleaning stuff now. he's sort of mopped the floor and screw this and OH GOD WASPY'S ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT AFJdh
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> S: [runnining upstairs kthx]
[1:13] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: [has started going through the popular mechanics books*
[1:13] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *not sure how he feels about this*
[1:13] <Book of Mirage> S: Agsdafjdsj [facepalming at kitchen]
[1:13] <Book of Mirage> S: [AND WHAT HIS MUSTARD]
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [IS THE PAPRIKA OK?! The paprika is ok]
[1:14] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *IT IS TERRIFYING MUSTARD*
[1:14] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *YOU SHOULD FEAR THAT MUSTARD*
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh god so terrifying and yet, fascinating. thank goodness he got over his obsession with weird tasting things after his first week and an encounter with fish and nutella]
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [speaking of which THAT WAS HIS NUTELLA
[1:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *GIVE IT TO MEGATRON?*
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [he had to knock over an old lady to get that]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh hey ! HEY]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [finds paper]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [label "Mustard" as "steak sauce"
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [??? -> profit? ]
[1:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *brb dying*
[1:16] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *wasp is now aware that screamer is back. still holding the magazine he had been flipping through, he drifts into the living room to investigate why screamer sounds so distressed.*
[1:18] <Book of Mirage> S: [has since headdesked because fuck this is even stupider than the "just stab him" plan]
[1:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [and his kitchen is a mess. even if he vaugely appreciates that his plans have been organized into nice piles]
[1:19] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Mzzz? Screamerbot back already?
[1:22] <Book of Mirage> S: [grumbling from his position of face down on the table] what do you mean already it's been two hours
[1:23] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Zzzwat? Really? *glaces at analog clock, even though he can't read it at all]
[1:27] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes! Just... arrgh. [head -> desk. again.]
[1:29] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Oh. Well. *hands screamer the magazine he's holding.* Here iz Traitybot'z bookthing. Iz interesting.
[1:32] <Book of Mirage> S: [takes] ... [at this point is just too -_-; to even bother yelling at the other 'con for looking through his stuff]
[1:34] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Where did Traitybot get bookthing? Wazpinator not know organicz interezted in machinez.
[1:36] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *swings around to screamer's other side, humming.* Screamerbot iz pleazed with front room? *gleams*
[1:38] <Book of Mirage> S: Organics actually build a lot of machines. Badly. Where do you think the Decepticons got our alternate modes? [slightly snappish with that last comment]
[1:38] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and the front room is.. ... adequete. Though you've made a complete mess in here.
[1:39] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: [looks around for the first time] Oh. Wazpinator not mean to make mess. Wazpinator will clean! [starts picking up jars at random and stacking them in little towers]
[1:43] <Book of Mirage> S: No, no, stop, just. [bargle]
[1:43] <Book of Mirage> [augh I'm tired I should sleep
[1:43] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [lmfao go to sleep. this got a alittle, uh, out of hand. XD]
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> it really did what the hell
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> not that it wasn't hilarious / cute
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> i'm so sorry XD
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> ITS FINE i had fun
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> I was bored anyway XD
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> i will save this for my own amusement
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> <3
[1:45] <Book of Mirage> :-D <3
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> o/
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> sleep well
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> ffffffff also I'm a stupid dorq. the reason he has a Valkryie on his nightstand is not becuase I like macross or becuase HE likes macross, but becuase that's Skyfire's original toy
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> model. thingy
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> okay XD
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> (skyfire being his former BFF from before the war :< who became an autobot. mostly becuase starscream was a jerk to him)
[1:47] <Book of Mirage> iiiidk
[1:47] <Book of Mirage> I am going to slep nao this was adorkable XD
[1:47] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> <3
[1:47] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> thanks for letting yourself get sucked into it lmfao~
<lj-cut text="But you should still clean your apartment. Or else I'll clean it for you. And you won't like that.">
[11:12] <ZER0> by the way
[11:12] <ZER0> starscream landed face first on waspinator's floor
[11:12] <ZER0> this is not a nice floor
[11:12] <Book of Mirage> I'm sure it isn't and I'm sure he's going to regret this later
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> I actaully thought about that in class today
[11:13] <ZER0> yeah
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> "man Waspy's floor is probably diseased"
[11:13] <ZER0> it's um
[11:13] <ZER0> linty and dusty and there are half eaten plates of food on it
[11:13] <ZER0> also shiny things
[11:13] <ZER0> /everywhere/
[11:13] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: *causes plates, shiny things, and dust bunnies to fly out of the way as he skids to a halt*
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> ffffff NO BRAIN. NO. THAT IS NOT IN CHARACTER YOU MAY NOT DO IT.
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> *stabs brain*
[11:14] <Book of Mirage> (not the skidding to a halt. something else)
[11:17] <ZER0> ......
[11:18] <ZER0> tumbling?
[11:18] <ZER0> :>
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> No just
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Your floor is disgusting. *shoves mop and broom into Wasp's hands*
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Fix it.
[11:18] <ZER0> W: *stares* What iz thiz?
[11:18] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: *and starts coughing becuase he totally caught some disease from that floor*
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ... *facepalm*
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not understand human toolz.
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: That's a broom. you use it to sweep up dust.
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Why?
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Like this. *sweeeeps*
[11:19] <ZER0> W: Dust iz fine where it iz.
[11:19] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Because dust is dirty and filthy and it clogs things up and apparently makes humans sick if there's enough of it
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: and as for 'bots it clogs your intake valves. If you're a proper bot and not some kind of organic... thing.
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (TRUK NOT MUNKY?!)
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (*shot*)
[11:20] <ZER0> (SORRY, G1, MY OPTIMUS WILL ALWAYS BE A MUNKY)
[11:20] <Book of Mirage> (baww)
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ANYWAY. This is a mop.
[11:21] <ZER0> W: Mop iz wet. Wazpinator not like. D:
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Once you've swept up the dust, you get the mop wet and then clean the floor. But only on tile floors. Not on carpet.
[11:21] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: What. why.
[11:22] <ZER0> W: ... Becauze it iz wet.
[11:22] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator say thiz.
[11:22] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: Yes, you did say that, but why do you have a prolem with wet things?! It's just WATER. [flicks water at him]
[11:22] <Book of Mirage> *problem. I can spell
[11:22] <ZER0> W: MAZAAAH. *cowers*
[11:23] <Book of Mirage> Starscream: ... ... [wait you're trying to tell this 'con how to clean things, now is not the time to be a dick now is not the time okay, good, makes his will save vs being a jerk]
[11:23] <Book of Mirage> S: ANYWAY.
[11:24] <Book of Mirage> S: For CARPET you use a vaccum cleaner. [and tadaa he has a vaccum too]
[11:24] <ZER0> W: *leans down and pokes it*
[11:24] <ZER0> W: What doez cleaner do?
[11:24] <Book of Mirage> S: [turns it onnn] [and it goes VRRRRRRRRRRRRR]
[11:24] <ZER0> W: *SCREAMS*
[11:25] <ZER0> W: *stumbles back*
[11:25] <Book of Mirage> S: [covers ears]
[11:25] <Book of Mirage> Vaccum: vrrrrrr
[11:25] <ZER0> W: CLEANERBOT IZ MALFUCNTIONING
[11:27] <Book of Mirage> S: no, it's working just fine. [sigh] It works by creating a difference in air pressure, whereb- [stops] Nevermind. It sucks up dirt.
[11:27] <Book of Mirage> S: And then it makes things CLEAN so that you don't have FLEAS or whatever else is living in here.
[11:27] <ZER0> W: Why iz cleanerbot so /noizy/?
[11:28] <Book of Mirage> S: Becuase it's a windbag. [he is from the 80's. puns are obligitory.]
[11:28] <ZER0> W: Liek Screamerbot?
[11:29] <Book of Mirage> S: No, nothing at all like me! I'm not a windbag at all! [turns it off sheesh]
[11:29] <ZER0> W: *incredulous stare*
[11:30] <ZER0> W: Okay, why iz Traitybot showing Wazpinator theze thingz?
[11:31] <Book of Mirage> S: Becuase you should clean your apartment, that's why! [starts walking around and kicking at things like the pile of dishes by the TV] It's disgusting in here! Human bodies can only take so much filth before they start to malfunction, and besides which cleanliness is an important part of military discipline.
[11:31] <Book of Mirage> [not that you can talk, Starscream; your apartment while not THIS bad is still pretty messy]
[11:32] <Book of Mirage> [but more in the "absent minded evil genius" kind of way]
[11:32] <ZER0 > W: *squeaks and runs to save the shiny things from the threat of Starscream's ramage* Leave Wazpinator'z thingz alone! Wazpinator'z thingz not have anything to do with discipline!
[11:35] <Book of Mirage> S: You should still clean u- oo hey what's this [found a shiney something]
[11:35] <ZER0> W: *snatches it from his hands* THAT BELONGZ TO WAZPINATOR.
[11:35] <Book of Mirage> S: HEY I was looking at that!
[11:36] <ZER0> W: *pauses, staring at him with narrow eyes* Fine. Traitybot can look. But no taking.
[11:36] <Book of Mirage> S: Fine, fine. [it's a.... thingy idk. maybe it lights up]
[11:37] <ZER0> *it's a string of christmas lights? if it lights up waspinator took it home*
[11:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh man cool, but] Interesting. Somewhat inefficient design, LEDs are better, if more expensive. And... ugh, htis isn't a parallel circut? What?
[11:38] <Book of Mirage> S: So if one light goes out they ALL do? Fft.
[11:39] <ZER0> W: *stares* Mmzz. *takes it back* Iz shiny.
[11:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh fine. but he is so getting his own christmas lights later]
[11:41] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not share shiniez. Traitybot can find hiz own.
[11:41] <Book of Mirage> S: LED lights are better anyway, these are incandescant.
[11:41] <Book of Mirage> S: So I will get BETTER lights than you.
[11:41] <ZER0> W; *glares*
[11:41] <ZER0> W: Wazpinator not care.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: Fine. But you should still clean your apartment.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: Or else I'll clean it for you. And you won't like that.
[11:42] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and don't you EVER wash dishes?
[11:43] <ZER0> W: Why would Wazpinator wash dishez?
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: Because if you don't they get moldy and you can cause a malfunction.
[11:43] <ZER0> W: Dishez with soap not make food tazte good.
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: Soap and WATER
[11:43] <ZER0> W: *blank stare*
[11:43] <Book of Mirage> S: You rinse them with WATER. or put them in the DISHWASHER.
[11:44] <ZER0> W: So... Wazpinator put soap and then water ondishez?
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes. And scrub them with a sponge and... you know what, fine. [oh ghsdfj why, why is he doing this? why does he care? he's gone from planning autobot raids to teaching how to do the damn dishes]
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> S: [ok. but anything's better than being a disembodied spark. anything's better than being a disembodied spark. REALLY. okay] [and dragging wasp into the kitchen to demonstrate... how to do dishes]
[11:45] <ZER0> *does he really have anything better to do?*
[11:45] <Book of Mirage> *no. no, he really doesn't*
[11:46] <ZER0> W: *buzzes* Where is Traitybot going?
[11:46] <Book of Mirage> S: I am showing you how to wash dishes. [how bad is the kitchenette]
[11:46] <ZER0> *it's pretty bad. if there is a surface that's not covered in junk it's drizzled in honey*
[11:47] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and then I'm going to show you how to clean countertops. [sigh]
[11:47] <Book of Mirage> S: [okayy, to the sink] See you put soap on the sponge [he brought some. hell, there is a bukkit of cleaning supplies] and then you turn on the water, and scrub the plates, like this.
[11:48] <ZER0> W: *distractedly runs a finger along a counter and licks the honey off it*
[11:48] <ZER0> W: Why uze soap?
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: First of all, the soap bond the food molecules to the... ... [stops] the soap makes it easier to clean.
[11:50] <ZER0> W: *nods sagely*
[11:50] <ZER0> W: Soap iz magic?
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: Second, it's an antimicrobal agent... er.
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes. Yes, it's magic.
[11:50] <Book of Mirage> S: [just wryyyyyyyyyyyyyy]
[11:51] <ZER0> W: *looks pleased with himself for figuring it out*
[11:55] <ZER0> W: *pauses, thinks about it* Traitybot wantz food? *holdz up plate with old chinese on it*
[11:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [OH WOW I SAID HOLDZ OUT OF CHARACTER. THIS IS NOT A GOOD SIGN]
[11:55] <Book of Mirage> [oh god]
[11:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *slowly eats a piece of general tao*
[11:56] <Book of Mirage> S: ... ... [he is really hungry but uh... no.]
[11:56] <Book of Mirage> S: No.
[11:56] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *shrugs* Mmzkay. Screamybot suits self. *eats some noodles with his hands*
12:00 : Friday, January 30, 2009
[12:00] <Book of Mirage> S: [warshes... moar dishes] [sighs fff this is reminding him of the old days when he'd do shit like lab work]
[12:00] <Book of Mirage> S: [not even field work. lab work. ]
[12:03] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *keeps looking at him* *looks around* Wazpinator will. Go over here now. *wanders into living room. considers leaving and going into starscream's apartment and see what's in there, since his is apartment is, ah, occupied*
[12:03] <Book of Mirage> [fff lol go ahead]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [Starscream's apartment is only marginally more organized and less dusty than Waspy's. screamer at least vaccums from time to time, but there's papers and books everywhere, and most of the books look like they were picked up from goodwill or taken from the library and just not returned; there's also a lot of random electronics in various states of being taken apart and put back together]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [and several reams of plans in Starscream's hand about how to kill Megatron]
[12:05] <Book of Mirage> [on like, napkins and stuff]
[12:06] <Book of Mirage> [they get progressively more half-hearted until there's things like "just stab him damn it or something idk"]
[12:06] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [ASKDJHAKSDF SCREAMER WHY SO ADORABLE HOPELESS]
[12:06] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [wait is screamer on the same floor as him]
[12:09] <Book of Mirage> [I think he's a floor up but ff I don't care whatever]
[12:11] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *hovers down the hall to the staircase, and flies headfirst down the staircase. he's special like that. he tries to get into screamer's apartment, which is locked, of course. he flies back to his apartment and hangs in the air behind screamer, humming. without asking, he tries to take off screamer's dog tags*
[12:13] <Book of Mirage> S: What are you doing.
[12:13] <Book of Mirage> S: [and oh god he wasn't going to do all these dishes. how did this happen. graaah]
[12:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Wazpinator wantz to clean Traitybot'z houze. Not like owing Traitybot favour.
[12:18] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *tugs at the tags like a five year old*
[12:18] <Book of Mirage> S: You don't even know how to clean your own house, let alone mine!
[12:18] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *sad puppy face*
[12:18] <Book of Mirage> [[Also: Clarification of current tag: Starscream will be following Waspy shortly, but the reaction posted seemed like what he'd do at the time?]]
[12:19] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [yup~ lmoa]
[12:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [not amused by the sad puppy face]
[12:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [... not falling prey to sad puppy face. is decepticon air commander. doesn't give a damn about puppy faces oh STOP THAT WASPINATOR]
[12:20] <Book of Mirage> [/fails a will save]
[12:20] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *GIANT SHINY EYES OF PLEADING*
[12:21] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *tugs more* Wazpinator not ruin everything like uzual. Wazpinator organizzzzzze. Like good Predacon.
[12:21] <Book of Mirage> S: ... oh FINE.
[12:22] <Book of Mirage> S: Don't lose these. [gives]
[12:23] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *HAPPYBUZZ* *flies off back to Screamer's place, lets himself in*
[12:23] <Book of Mirage> [There are also little model planes, I forgot to mention that]
[12:23] <Book of Mirage> [really, really nice ones, actually, god knows how he got them with no job]
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [THEFT!]
[12:24] <Book of Mirage> [waspy that is not a good idea]
[12:24] <Book of Mirage> [remember this is commander starscream's apt. he has a bad temper
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *looks around, wondering where to start. has no idea what to do or where*
[12:24] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [no i mean he got them through theft XD]
[12:26] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *starts rifling through papers on the desk. pulls his legs up and sort of, sits in the air, going through all of them. he starts to sort them into 'plans' 'not plans' and 'kill megatron'. 'kill megatron' is three times the size of the other two, and doesn't bat an eyelash*
[12:27] <Book of Mirage> [XD]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [Grocery list: Tuna fish, soup, ramen noodles, paprika, kill megatron
[12:28] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [YOU CAN'T HAVE KILL MEGATRON WITHOUT PAPRIKA]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [oh]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [yes, yes he did]
[12:28] <Book of Mirage> [EXTRA SPICEY DEATH
[12:33] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *glances upwards and becomes distracted by the model airplanes. buzzes and drops the papers, going upwards to bat it around like some kind of. catbee.*
[12:33] <Book of Mirage> S: [is loading plates into the dishwasher also since there seems to be one hoooray]
[12:33] <Book of Mirage> S: [and finally fucking finishes that]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [and wonders how the hell he got into cleaning the quarters of people he outranks, he didn't join up with the 'cons for this foolishness, but then agian he's also dead twice and currently squishy and what else is he going to do]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [and for that matter making waspy happy is probably a good plan]
[12:34] <Book of Mirage> S: [he should have at least one person who doesn't completely loathe his existence right]
[12:37] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *daaaaaaw no sorry everyone hates you 8D wasp barrel rolls happily, then realizes that he's probably supposed to be working. drifts off to the kitchen, because uh that's what starscream did and uh well it's as good a start as any?*
[12:38] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *opens the fridge and stares at the contents. can there be a lot of mustard for no reason?*
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [yes, there's a lot of mustard. and paprika]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [and mayonaise]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [but no ketchup]
[12:38] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [JUST IN CASE HE KILLS MEGATRON AND NEEDS SOME PAPRIKA]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [he doesn't like ketchup]
[12:38] <Book of Mirage> S: [INDEED]
[12:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [there's also very little actual food in there. there's like, a thing of milk that's mostly empty
[12:39] <Book of Mirage> S: [and orange juice and some empty containers that probably had food once]
[12:41] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *takes out pots of mustard, staring at them dumbly. curiosity overriding common sense, he opens the lid of one and sets it on the counter, then takes out the orange juice and pours some into that. he continues to just dump things into one particular mustard jar, humming contentedly.*
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> [XD]
[12:43] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [HE'S MAKING YOU SOUP, SCREAMER!]
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> S: [in the meantime has cleaned the counters. IF HE IS GOING TO CLEAN HE IS GIONG TO DO IT RIGHT DAMN IT]
[12:43] <Book of Mirage> [oh god delicious soup x_x;]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [there is one food he has that is actaully good]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [he has one]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [single]
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> [jar of nutella]
[12:52] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *stops mixing suddenly, flits back to clean the living room. ACTUALLY MANAGES TO HOLY CRAP. or at least tidy up the papers. and not break anything. pleased with himself, he returns to the kitchen to see what'll happen to OH MY GOD NUTELLA THIS WILL NOT END WELL.*
[12:52] <Book of Mirage> S: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [/evil laugh]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [becuase he's finished cleaning the countertops]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [suddenly wonders if Waspy ever showers]
[12:53] <Book of Mirage> S: [decides not to think about this too hard]
[12:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *is not going through the cupboards, tasting everything he finds. he pauses when he hears an evil laugh, then continues. he drops a few jars as he's going through these, if they're made of glass they break on the floor. he manages not to notice.*
[12:55] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *HE SHOULD ASK. THE ANSWER IS FANTASTIC.*
[12:57] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *discovers the jar of nutella, dips a finger in it to taste. doing so, his eyes go wide and he buzzes. this is almost as good as honey!~ o/ he starts to eat it with his hands*
[12:57] <Book of Mirage> [most are plastic]
[12:57] <Book of Mirage> [also a lot of the food boxes are empty. as are most of the jars]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [actually it looks like starscream eats a lot]
[12:58] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [then his floor isn't disgusting yet, jsut covered in boxes :U]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [because he has a metabolism like a rabbit on crack]
[12:58] <Book of Mirage> [He is out of cheez-its. again.]
[12:59] <Book of Mirage> [And it is a good thing waspy can't get into the player's house. becuase she likes to collect exotic honey DON'T JUDGE ME]
[12:59] <Book of Mirage> [ahem]
[12:59] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [NO NO i went to france and my only real souvenir was delicious provence honey. it was delicious.]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [fffff provence honeeyyyy mmmm
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [And yeahhh he's just taken all the shiney things and managed to organize them]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [And he's actually put up the christmas lights.]
[1:00] <Book of Mirage> [oh god there's a model plane in this mess. no. do not take.]
[1:00] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 8DDDDD*
[1:01] <Book of Mirage> [it's just a conchord anyway]
[1:03] <Book of Mirage> [okay now things are organized now vaccuummmssss ]
[1:03] <Book of Mirage> S: I HAVE CONQUERED YOU, DUST! AHAHAHA! [point] [ok his vaccuming job is kind of half-hearted. he does get most of the floor though]
[1:04] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *..... yeah that nutella was doomed from the start. he's trying to lick the inside of the jar at this point.*
[1:04] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *when there's nothing left he drops it on the floor with the others and wanders into starscream's bedroom*
[1:05] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *this is actually pretty clean, there's not much for him to do. he settles for jumping on the bed*
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [there are a few popular mechanics magazines lying around
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [and a really cool book about fighter aircraft with big pictures]
[1:05] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [POPULAR MECHANICS OR PORN? 8\]
[1:05] <Book of Mirage> [INDEED.]
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> [and on his nightstand is a Macross Valkryie.]
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> S: [ok he's tired of this cleaning stuff now. he's sort of mopped the floor and screw this and OH GOD WASPY'S ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT AFJdh
[1:11] <Book of Mirage> S: [runnining upstairs kthx]
[1:13] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: [has started going through the popular mechanics books*
[1:13] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *not sure how he feels about this*
[1:13] <Book of Mirage> S: Agsdafjdsj [facepalming at kitchen]
[1:13] <Book of Mirage> S: [AND WHAT HIS MUSTARD]
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [IS THE PAPRIKA OK?! The paprika is ok]
[1:14] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *IT IS TERRIFYING MUSTARD*
[1:14] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *YOU SHOULD FEAR THAT MUSTARD*
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh god so terrifying and yet, fascinating. thank goodness he got over his obsession with weird tasting things after his first week and an encounter with fish and nutella]
[1:14] <Book of Mirage> S: [speaking of which THAT WAS HIS NUTELLA
[1:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *GIVE IT TO MEGATRON?*
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [he had to knock over an old lady to get that]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [oh hey ! HEY]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [finds paper]
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [label "Mustard" as "steak sauce"
[1:15] <Book of Mirage> S: [??? -> profit? ]
[1:15] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *brb dying*
[1:16] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *wasp is now aware that screamer is back. still holding the magazine he had been flipping through, he drifts into the living room to investigate why screamer sounds so distressed.*
[1:18] <Book of Mirage> S: [has since headdesked because fuck this is even stupider than the "just stab him" plan]
[1:19] <Book of Mirage> S: [and his kitchen is a mess. even if he vaugely appreciates that his plans have been organized into nice piles]
[1:19] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Mzzz? Screamerbot back already?
[1:22] <Book of Mirage> S: [grumbling from his position of face down on the table] what do you mean already it's been two hours
[1:23] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Zzzwat? Really? *glaces at analog clock, even though he can't read it at all]
[1:27] <Book of Mirage> S: Yes! Just... arrgh. [head -> desk. again.]
[1:29] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Oh. Well. *hands screamer the magazine he's holding.* Here iz Traitybot'z bookthing. Iz interesting.
[1:32] <Book of Mirage> S: [takes] ... [at this point is just too -_-; to even bother yelling at the other 'con for looking through his stuff]
[1:34] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: Where did Traitybot get bookthing? Wazpinator not know organicz interezted in machinez.
[1:36] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: *swings around to screamer's other side, humming.* Screamerbot iz pleazed with front room? *gleams*
[1:38] <Book of Mirage> S: Organics actually build a lot of machines. Badly. Where do you think the Decepticons got our alternate modes? [slightly snappish with that last comment]
[1:38] <Book of Mirage> S: ... and the front room is.. ... adequete. Though you've made a complete mess in here.
[1:39] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> W: [looks around for the first time] Oh. Wazpinator not mean to make mess. Wazpinator will clean! [starts picking up jars at random and stacking them in little towers]
[1:43] <Book of Mirage> S: No, no, stop, just. [bargle]
[1:43] <Book of Mirage> [augh I'm tired I should sleep
[1:43] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> [lmfao go to sleep. this got a alittle, uh, out of hand. XD]
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> it really did what the hell
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> not that it wasn't hilarious / cute
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> i'm so sorry XD
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> ITS FINE i had fun
[1:44] <Book of Mirage> I was bored anyway XD
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> i will save this for my own amusement
[1:44] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> <3
[1:45] <Book of Mirage> :-D <3
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> o/
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> sleep well
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> ffffffff also I'm a stupid dorq. the reason he has a Valkryie on his nightstand is not becuase I like macross or becuase HE likes macross, but becuase that's Skyfire's original toy
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> model. thingy
[1:46] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> okay XD
[1:46] <Book of Mirage> (skyfire being his former BFF from before the war :< who became an autobot. mostly becuase starscream was a jerk to him)
[1:47] <Book of Mirage> iiiidk
[1:47] <Book of Mirage> I am going to slep nao this was adorkable XD
[1:47] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> <3
[1:47] <ZER0 // people your age usually die. why won't you?> thanks for letting yourself get sucked into it lmfao~
